Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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