please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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