I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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