are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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