My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
