: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
