my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
A+ Viking dick
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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