So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
