they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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