considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize