take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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