cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
