My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
