how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
