I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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