is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize