butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
