No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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