fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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