Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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