I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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