Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
