Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Of course I have a pirate flag
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
