And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
