he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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