Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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