quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
