The best revenge is premature balding
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
