it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
