Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
