If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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