just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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