I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
