I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
