Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I can text with my tongue
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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