ugly people sure do ruin things
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
