strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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