I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
