I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
