do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Oh god it's open bar.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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