i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
