So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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