Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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