Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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