he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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