Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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