still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize