trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
