Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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