good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize