I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
