i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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