i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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