the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
