with your own penis?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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