I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
