Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
