finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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