The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
