Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
