Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
