I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
