He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
