Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
