Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he puts the penis in happiness.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
