We're facebook friends in real life
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
